Stories—The Gift of Ourselves. Our Legacy

These thoughts came to me earlier as a way of explaining and teaching story telling techniques. And in an estate planning context, they are very relevant today. Whether you’re the planning professional or the client, consider….


We ask a question—but are we really interested in the answer? And when a person launches into a story in response to our question, do we view it as an irritant? When we are sincere in our quest for an answer, we are blessed many fold if that person begins to relate an experience.


Stories matter and telling stories matters. Stories represent who we are. They disclose our life experiences, our values, and why we are who we are. And they help us to capture, preserve and then pass on our true legacy. Who we are is our legacy; our wealth is not much more than a piece of us, and for many, an insignificant piece.


For me, to learn what a client believes about the meaning of success in learning and education, for example, is enlightening and interesting. I am fascinated by education on all levels and am strongly opinionated about
the different approaches taken to education by various politicians.


But the true value of these stories is just listening to the person behind them. At some point down the road, of course, the content and the stories will begin to gather dust. Ah, but what if that dust could be blown off? What if the child or grandchild of the story teller could listen again or for the first time?

What would that child or grandchild give, or pay even, for the opportunity to hear the stories in Grandmother’s own voice years and years from now? 


I remember my Granddad Graves sitting in his rocker “a pickin' at his banjo” and singing some old Tennessee hill song. He had left Tennessee on foot with his big brother when he was a very young man. Since his passing, I’ve heard a few stories about some of his life’s adventures and lessons. But I’d heard none from him. I was too young and he was too old. I suspect many of us would look with sadness on those missed opportunities. What I would give to hear him talking again, and to sit with him while he talked about life growing up in the Tennessee hill country. I wonder how different my own life might have been had I learned from him, just as earlier generations learned life and death lessons at the feet of the old ones.


The libraries represented by your parents, your grandparents, and even yourself are at high risk. Let’s get out the fire extinguisher! Purchase a small, inexpensive, digital recorder. Sit down with one of your important libraries and ask one or two very focused questions.

•  When did you and grandma first meet and what initially attracted you to her?

•  If this were your last day on earth, what would you want to tell her?

•  Finish this sentence: I come from a people who….

• What are two or three of the most significant changes you’ve seen in the world during your lifetime?

• If you had an abundance of time, energy and money, what are some of the things you would you do with the rest of your life?

Once someone begins a story, it goes on and on. Concentrate your attention on Grandpa; let him know you are really interested, and be very careful not to interrupt him. Interruption will guide his conversation where you want it to go instead of where he wants it to go. Digression and “rabbit trails” are a blessing. Burn the recording onto a compact disc and pass copies among loved ones as gifts. 


Most of us never realize the fortunes that lie within our library.